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One Step Ahead

from Talk to Me (Demo Album) by Edward Roussac

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about

This song is about my inferiority complex and low self-esteem, which I've been battling with since Year 10 (2015). This is one of the reasons I'm not in a good headspace.
In Years 11 and 12, I was put in the Victorian Certificate of Applied Learning (VCAL). I wanted to do the Victorian Certificate of Education (VCE) because the majority of my music "mates" were doing it (also because the high school's music teacher only taught VCE students due to the curriculum), but my teachers said I couldn't do it because I'd be struggling with writing essays in English class and doing exams.
I graduated, but could not receive an ATAR score (Australian Tertiary Admission Rank).

Even now, knowing that the majority of my uni mates had done VCE, I feel as dumb as I did back then. This song is one of my most self-deprecating.

The bass and electric guitar were recorded on my audio interface. The piano, organ and drums were virtual instruments on Mixcraft 8. The vocals were done on my Android phone.

lyrics

I'm in a room full of strangers
Think they're the smartest in the room
I'm just sitting here in solitude
This wasteland is fuelled by gloom

You're always one step
You're always one step ahead
You're always one step ahead of me

You speak in class, exchange ideas
In school the going gets tough
I'm left feeling less intelligent
Thinking that I'm not good enough

This is a mountain I should overcome
Thoughts drag me down, leave me numb
Feeling stupid, feeling small
Does it matter much at all?

You're always one step
You're always one step ahead
You're always one step ahead of me

I have the urge to talk myself down
Would you pull me out of this pit?
No, it seems only I can hear me
No one else can drag me out of it

Comparison is the thief of joy
My behind-the-scenes, your highlight reel
You say I'm great and of many skills
In the end, how do I want to feel?

You're always one step
You're always one step ahead
You're always one step ahead of me

credits

from Talk to Me (Demo Album), released November 6, 2023
Edward Roussac - vocals, piano, organ, bass gutiar, electric guitar, drum programming

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about

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Edward Roussac Melbourne, Australia

I am a musician from Melbourne, Victoria. I sing and play keyboards as well as guitar and bass. I like to express my thoughts through the songs I write.

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